Disconnected

Last night I started reading I come alone a book by Michelle J Coote, an Australian who after a touching travel experience in the Middle East, decided to move to Thailand and then India. I’m still at the beginning of her journey, but I’m already sure I’ll be intrigued by her adventures, also because the two countries are part of the around-the-world trip I’m about to start. I’ve been following Antonia’s blog for a few weeks now and I’m curious to see how their lives have taken them to or away from Brisbane (Antonia has chosen the Australian town as her temporary home, Michelle decides to leave her “beautiful, tidy, clean and organised” Brisbane to travel and then settle in Southern Asia).

However, while I add myself to those who are craving for the Asian and the Australian dream, I’ve disconnected the plug. I’m on auto-pilot now. I’ve always been part of that category of weird people who jumped out of bed in the morning in excitement thinking about what was on the plate for the day. I was the type of person who was getting a bit depressed on a Friday afternoon, thinking about the boring weekend ahead and how do to fill all that spare time. I’ve often been the one who got some extra work to get done at home between parties and dinners out. But I never left any my time available, too scared to be spending time with myself, horrified to listen to my thoughts or talk to myself. Busy, always busy was the routine, no a free minute for myself. Get stuff done.

I’m now part of that army of individuals (at the opposite side of the spectrum), who wakes up on Monday morning thinking that Friday will never arrive soon enough. I spend my days and hours counting down minutes to The End. I am bored and disconnected. I used to be in the office at 8am and now I drag myself through the door after 9am, under the suspicious stare of my boss.
But I don’t care anymore. Love is over and I can’t get it back. I don’t see the utility of my job and I feel like all my efforts have been wasted. I also feel betrayed and I can’t fix that.

Now I spend my days listening to the screaming voice in my head that is shouting to GET OUT OF HERE and considering options for my future.
The problem is that, despite I’ve read tons of blogs and books about downshifting, moving-on, leaving the corporate world, location-free jobs, online millionaires and entrepreneurs, I haven’t found my way. All of the them are incredibly inspirational, don’t get me wrong, but the reality is that I don’t know how to change my life. I have no idea what I could / should do next and this ambiguity, as well as the various options, are making me more and more confused.

What shall I do? Shall I do that master in HR capitalising on my 6-year recruitment experience to pursue a career in HR or shall I just forget about it and move on to a brand new chapter in my life i.e. online marketing, obviously assuming a massive risk by learning something completely new to me?

Would you take the easy option or the less-travelled path?
Let me know your thoughts and if you have practical suggestions on how to learn and find a location-independent, sustainable job, I will be forever grateful.Image

  • Sunday

    Before taking a year off from my teaching job, last July, I used to arrive to school late and demotivated. That’s not life. That’s trying to survive. There’s no easy option here: they all include a little bit of risk. But I would skip the master.
    I’ve been on the road for a year so far and let me tell you that finding a location-independent job is not easy. However, I suggest you to save some money, then leave and see. Travelling alone will give you the silence and the introspection you need to understand what you really want. And new doors will open for you.

    • Hey Sunday, thank you…So, do you know what you want to do when you “grow up”? How are you supporting yourself. Anyway, you are right, my deadline is June 2014, and up to then, I’ll be saving money, to do exactly what you say: go and look inside myself.
      Thank you.
      (I’m going to explore your blog later today!)

      • Sunday

        I have been travelling in South-East Asia (and also got a short job in China) for 5 months then I started working as a tour guide in Oman. I like the job, but my dream is to be a full-time writer. Not easy. huh? 😉

  • Interesting. That’s also what I want to do. I’ve started so many different books that I can’t recall them all. I’m working on one now that seems to have a better chance ahead. At the end of the day, I might not need another job if it becomes a best-seller… LOL! dreaming..do you write in Italian or English?

    • Sunday

      LoL! I write in Italian. And I might need somebody to translate my blog posts in English in the near future, so let’s keep in touch: your English is awesome.

  • Find your way is the hard part. Not everybody born with a talent or a clear passion inside. Actually, just few, lucky people. The rest, us, just follow the trend, the path that someone else indicated. And one day we wake up and we know, desperately know, just one damn thing: that this is not our life, that despite all our success, our career, our goals our wealthy…we are not happy.
    I think the right way to start a new life is answer this question: what makes me happy? Maybe you won’t find the answer, but It will give you something to start from. All the doubts and questions in your brain are good. That means that you are alive and want to have the most from this life. As Sunday said, traveling is a good way to try to find the answers you need. Break the rules, take a gap, take a breath, do nothing, do all. Its not at all sure that you’ll find them, but at least, you’ll be better, a lot better and you’ll be living your life. It’s a risk, but not so big. You can always come back to your old life, or maybe you’ll find another one in your way.

    • The tricky part is that up to recently I thought I was happy, I actually was happy and satisfied. I had achieved all I wanted in life: a fast-track career, a prestigious position, money and further steps ahead. But then I kind of woke up from a dream and realised that there was more. There were people “using” work as a way to enjoy life and not as their main means of happiness, like I was doing. It was a shock for me, as I’ve always been career-oriented.
      But you are right, probably a long trip will help me to stop and think, really think, what I want to do with my life without all the present distractions.
      Thank you

  • Unfortunately, it’s not really easy to give some tips when the topic it’s so important
    but if you are in a trouble … my practical suggestion is to try to think about a Gap Year
    For instance, some company as mine allows people to travel also for 12 months
    it’s a perfect way to have a time just for yourself … to understand what you want
    Leave your life
    World is full of people feels exactly what you are feeling in this moment
    don’t give up 🙂
    big hug
    antonia

    • Ciao Antonia, Unfortunately my company doesn’t allow me to take a sabbatical. I’m going to ask for a month off soon (I want to do some volunteering job in India), but I think they will just go mental..Fingers crossed.
      However, z I’ll need to take a drastic decision, such as resign. But for now, I’ll keep my mouth shut, I’ll be again the perfect employee as I was before to save as much money as possible and then, in 6-12 months I’ll be following your path: The world is out there to be explored. Thank you
      Hugs

      • Fingers crossed!!
        big hug 🙂
        antonia

        • Grazie mille! Anche per te! Hai deciso che fare/dove andare? Passi di qua allora? 🙂

          • Si penso proprio di si … ma non so se tu sarai ancora li … anzi spero proprio che tu sia in altri posti a godere di un po’ di meritata libertà!!
            chissa’ magari ci incrociamo da qualche parte 🙂
            un abbraccio
            antonia

          • Mah.. Dispende quando Arrivi.. Io sarò qui per altri 6-12 mesi.. Tutto dipende da quanto riesco a risparmiare.. Vedremo.. Bacioni! Buona serata!

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