TIME TO SAY “F**K IT”

fuck it

When I first saw the book “F**k It Therapy: The Profane Way to Profound Happiness” at my local bookshop I thought it was the usual “help-yourself-useless-bulls**t-type-of-book, but then after a few months, a friend who read it said it was great and hilarious and I also decided to give it a go.

The book is written by John C. Parkin who had a “top job in London” before saying “F**K IT!” and moving to Italy with Gaia Pollini, his wife, who also participated in the book with her “magic”. They now run the F**k it Retreats in some amazing locations like the volcano of Stromboli and in the middle of the beautiful Tuscan landscapes in Italy.

LEARN TO SEE FIRST

With the help of this book, you will learn to SEE your prison first: understanding that we are prisoners is the most important thing if we really want to set ourselves free. The prisons we all are can be of different shapes and sizes, but most of us have some barriers to escape from.
Work, family, relationships, responsibilities, duties, debts, ambitions, dreams: these are some of the prisons we inherited or created for ourselves. In order to find the key to open the damn door, we need to see that we are prisoners. Stop and start thinking what makes you feel suffocated sometimes; is that the last credit card bill? Or a comfort relationship you dragged on for years? Or is the mortgage that forces you to stay in a job you hate?  Your marriage perhaps?

When you find out what it is that makes you want to scream,  you are halfway through. No. Only joking. You are not, but now you can act. You can (re)act and say:

F**K IT

Once you have mapped out the walls of your prison (your anxieties, lack of imagination, fear, self-doubt and all those things that keep you Inside/Stuck you can then “break through the walls”. There are several walls that you need to smash before you can stare the blue sky of freedom again. You need to walk yourself through every and each of the reasons that put you inside and kept you there for so long.

You must be asking: “Yeah, it sounds nice, but how?!?” This is what I was asking too, go to Part 5 to find out “How”.

Once you have forced those walls to fall and you believe you are actually free, then you can start mastering some enhancing tools and exercises to reach the

F** It State of Mind

At the end of the book, John and Gaia give you some interesting tips to stay and live in the Fuck it State in the real life (aka when you finish the book and wonder how to actually change your life).

I found John Parkin’s style extremely amusing, the book is filled with funny cartoons and jokes. He also shares some feedback of people who either read the book or spent time in one of their retreats. It’s an interesting little book that combines practical exercises with some Asian philosophy and basic of relaxation.

This is not a book that tells you to give up your job or divorce your wife/husband. This is a book that will help you to go through life with a better, positive and relaxed attitude. You will be in the f**k it state and therefore life will be easier and more pleasant. You will see things from a different perspective and under a different light.  Possibly you will feel lighter and maybe even happier.

At the end of the day, it’s not necessarily about changing your life, but it’s all about changing your attitude.

fuck it

Change what you can change and let go of what you can’t change.

 JUST F**K IT. 

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Disclaimer: I am not related in any way to the author, if you do buy the book via the link above, I will get a small commission from Amazon which will help me to maintain this blog. Thanks & Share the Love. 

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Let it be

Reflections

Here we are again. Two weeks ago I resigned. I took my boss to a meeting room for a “quick 2-minute chat” and without actually thinking about it or preparing for it, I said “I’m leaving“. Two painful weeks followed, they decided to keep me, they decided that I was worth another try and promised me the moon and the stars. And more money.

And …I? I decided to accept. I decided to turn my back to that half-opened door. I decided it wasn’t time for Freedom. Just yet. Just for a little bit longer. I decided I would stay.

Sometimes in life there are things that are completely out of your control. I like to think that we are the creators of our own lives and that we give clear directions to our paths, but now? Now, I feel I have no control.

I’ve been looking at my last six years with a different eye lately, I started looking at things from a new perspective and I realised that things weren’t exactly as I thought. I’ve always put my career first, I thought that achieving record salaries (for my age and experience) and smashing targets was what was going to make me happy. I thought that being promoted three then four years in a row would have turned me into a satisfied person, I naively believed that being “the youngest consultant ever” would have made me special.

I then realised that the truth was really different. The truth is that I wasted (the best) six years of my life. Basically I threw away my twenties pursuing (and  achieving) inconceivable goals.  You might be thinking that I should be happy, right? But happiness, you know, doesn’t come from money. They threw some more money and promises to make millions of pounds if I stay for another decade or so, but I know I won’t.

I’ve now realised that I’m going to make myself happy, that I already feel I’ve achieved what I wanted to achieve in my (first) career, and it’s now time to move on. I’m now studying my plan B. And C. And considering options to escape this life.

Now I know. I know that isn’t a title that gives me the authority to be the person I want to be, nor it’s a pay rise. I’m already the person I want to be.

And I am happy.

“A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity when, for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh, it’s as though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.” 

From ‘A Single Man’